This too shall pass!

Vipassana meditation is one of the oldest meditation technique of India.

Vipassana literally means to see things as they are in reality.

It is a process of self purification by self observation.

 

So there I was with uncertain health and the life I knew destroyed by MS.

I decided it was the perfect time to try again a silent 10 days’ meditation retreat.

 

That was my first meditation marathon!

This time I went an hour away from Montreal to the Goenka Vipassana meditation center https://www.suttama.dhamma.org/.

 

We would wake up at 4h in the morning to begin our first meditation.

We would meditate for more than ten hours every day.

We were not allowed to talk or read or write.

We were not allowed to do any physical exercise.

We ate very little.

 

This time I was able to sit in meditation for hours everyday.

It was everything but easy!

It was painful at times in my body.

It was boring at other times.

It made me sleepy sometimes.

 

It was also fascinating to spend so much time just observing.

Nothing external could distract me.

I could observe all my internal distractions! And they were unending!

 

This is the perfect place to practice just being!

 

I experienced the first of the three universal truth of life: impermanence. Experiencing this truth was one of the most valuable lessons of my life.

Just sitting still, trying to watch my breath, as the air goes in and out of my nose. I could observe how everything in my field of awareness is constantly changing.

 

Sensations in my body change from one moment to the next.

Emotions flow through me like the waves in the see.

Thoughts come and go at an amazing speed like the clouds in the sky.

Everything is changing. Only my awareness remains unchanging.

I am the observer of all the phenomena that constantly arise and fall away.

 

I came back home with a new mantra to put on my wall: “This too shall pass”.

If something unpleasant is arising, rest assured that his too shall pass! So relax!

If something pleasant is arising, just the same, rest assured that this too shall pass! So relax and enjoy!

 

This teaches us to go beyond duality!

It helps us to develop equanimity: the ability to be with something whatever it is, the ability to go beyond the mental labels of good or bad.

It helps us welcome whatever appears.

 

“Praise and blame, gain and loss, pleasure and sorrow come and go like the wind.

To be happy, rest like a giant tree in the midst of them all,” Buddha teaches us.

 

This was the beginning of meeting myself, the beginning of getting to know myself.

 

Do you ever spend some time getting to know your precious self? 💜

Sense of identity

Who am I?

 

My second relapse of MS clearly affected my cognitive abilities.

This time my memory was severely affected.

This left me unable to do my usual work. All my actuarial knowledge had been deleted from my memory!

This is when I knew that the life I knew had ended!

There was no more room for denial!

 

I had to stop working.

This was devastating to me for many many years!

I was really faced with what I was identifying myself with?

 

What we identify ourselves with consists of an endless list.

 

Who am I?

Am I my name?

Am I the daughter of this woman and this man?

Am I the friend of this person and that person?

Am I the wife of this man?

Am I a mother (ok that one does not apply to me: I don’t have kids)?

Am I my body?

Am I a woman?

Am I a Canadian or a Mauritanian?

Am I my thoughts and beliefs?

Am I the voice in my head?

Am I the emotion I am feeling right now?

Am I an emotion I memorized that is stored in my body?

Am I the story of my life?

Am I a disease or diagnosis?

And above all for me in this instance: am I my job?

Am I my title?

Am I my role?

Am I what I do?

Am I what I have?

Who am I beyond all those identities?

 

For many years I suffered from the loss of my identification with my job!

For so long I did not know who I was!

 

Through meditation, through education, through self-enquiry, self-reflection and self-study, I connected with the simple but profound joy of being!

 

I discovered that I did not need any identification to exist.

 

I AM.

 

Just BEING is enough. I exist. That in itself is the miracle!

I started to feel grateful for the miracle of being alive!

 

From this, anything can be added.

I discovered a whole new way of life.

I use to want to have, then do, to finally maybe be.

Now I am learning to BE first, then DO, finally HAVE, even GIVE.

 

Who are you? What do you identify yourself with? 💜

Perception

Reality just is.

Everything is neutral.

We assign meaning to events, situations, conditions and circumstances.

 

At first, when I was diagnosed with MS, I thought that was the worst thing that could ever happen to me. In fact, the worst thing that ever happened to me was not listening to my body, not listening to myself, not listening to life.

 

The worst thing that ever happened to me was clearly not listening to my intuition!!

Listen to your intuition!

 

Years later, I learned a lot.

I did a lot of work on myself to transform and change myself: to heal myself.

Then I thought this diagnosis was the best thing that happened to me because it healed me!

 

“Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change,” Dr Wayne Dyer teaches us.

 

Now I think MS is just something that happened.

Not the worst, not the best: just a thing part of my life journey.

 

Everything is neutral until we assign it meaning.

 

Perception is a mental and spiritual faculty we all possess.

It is our point of view.

 

We have the ability to give meaning to any situation.

We have the ability to choose our reaction to whatever comes our way.

 

Truth be told, our reaction to an event, situation, condition or circumstance is not even our own, even though we think it is.

It is based on our conditioning: our family, our culture, our society.

It is based on the way we learned to view life. It is based on our subconscious programming.

It is not really our point of view. It is the point of view shaped by the world around us.

 

From my experience, I have to admit now that in reality I do not know if something is good or bad from my limited human perspective. I am learning that it is so much more empowering to withhold judgment.

 

Not judging allows us to remain open so the good in any situation can reveal itself to us. Nothing is only good or only bad. We live in a world of duality. Everything comes with its opposite.

 

It is human to quickly judge.

It helps to move through a situation if we pause our internal judgment and get curious.

 

From the point of view of our soul, everything is neutral.

From spirit point of view, nothing is good or bad.

 

“Letting there be room for not knowing is the most important thing of all. When there’s a big disappointment, we don’t know if that’s the end of the story. It may just be the beginning of a great adventure. Life is like that. We don’t know anything. We call something bad; we call it good. But really we just don’t know”, Pema Chödrön teaches us.

Do you know you get to choose your perception? Do you know you have the power to perform miracles through the choice of your perception? 💜